Waking up, now that September has
ended it feels as if the entire month of September passed away just like that
in a dream.
September had been a chaotic
month for me professionally. Hectic schedules, crazy deadlines and mammoth work
load. Not to forget the emotional atyachaar in my personal life as well. The
only solace was my blog where I was being showered by award after award which
made me smile despite all these things.
I share a very different
relationship with God which is difficult to describe. All that I can say is for
Me He is a buddy; my BEST BUDDY. I want to cry, crib, laugh, hate, love, get
angry on, scream, fight or argue it has to be with Him. So as I was going
through all this somewhere it had to lead me to Him. And it did. In the 2nd
week of this month as I went through some emotional turmoil I looked up at Him
and asked ‘What is that you want me to see
and understand?’ But I got no answer. I was not hurt because this is how He
is. He does not answer immediately but I knew I would get it soon.
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| At a path where I had to choose a left or a right not knowing which one was actually the right one! |
Last weekend I had an office
conference to attend at one of my dream destinations Goa. My heart was
continuously skipping beats as I counted my days to be at Goa and live my
dream. I thought maybe this would be the change I was looking for away from all
this chaos. But I was proven wrong. I was with some 300+ people from across the
world and yet I was all alone there. I was in no mood to make any new
acquaintances as I remembered I was here to live a dream. And that I did to the
fullest!
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| Walking away trying to look for some answers inside and outside Me |
I took long walks at the beach
all my myself at all possible hours of the day /night, clicked some lovely
pictures (280+!!!) and spent a wonderful time with someone as important as Me.
This is a rarity as I never do this. I listened as my heart spoke to me from
the deepest corners bringing forth things which I had buried deep inside. As I
hugged the morning sun rays I could feel its warmth on my soul. As I inhaled
the fresh air I could sense the ripples it caused inside me. Lying besides
nature I felt a deep connection with everything around me. I was so thankful to
God for this holiday. And yes ! I fell in love, all over again with life.
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| Imagine reading a book under a tree nearby this pond - Sheer Bliss!! |
As all good things come to an
end, so did this holiday. Though I would have never wanted it to, but I knew I
had to let it end so that I could begin it afresh once again sometime in
future. I was leaving with a heavy heart and that is when God decided to give
me my surprise gift. He had saved it for the end as I am sure He knew I would
need that gift more at that time. I saw a rainbow outside my plane window. And
it was so mesmerizing. It was so close to me, yet to so far. Standing there is
all its magnificent glory, shining away. I have seen quite a few rainbows but
none so closely. I had read somewhere that seeing a rainbow means you are
blessed. And at that moment that is exactly how I felt. BLESSED! That rainbow
spelled HOPE for Me. Hope for a better time in future and hope to keep fighting
till the time all ends well as it will be all worth in the end.
Since the time I have understood
the realities of life all that I have ever wanted is to be loved,
unconditionally. Coming to think of it, I think it is bad to want this as it
never happens. I continue to face dejection after dejection but this flicker of
hope refuses to die within me. I am amazed as to what keeps it going as it
expects someday somewhere I will be loved, unconditionally. But now I know it
is this hope which does that. And just when that flame was losing its strength
God magically added more fuel to keep it going. Thank you so much God for giving
me the Gift of Hope to help me sail through all the turbulent times that lie
ahead of me!
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| Sun trying to peep through the clouds. This is how HOPE is...trying to peep despite the greyness around. |
So here’s to an Optimistic
October as I look forward optimistically to what next does God have in store
for Me…!
+1.jpg) |
| Source: Google Images |
P.S: This post has been submitted to That Tuesday Thingy - an Indiblogeshwari Initiative