Yesterday
when the Delhi gang-rape girl succumbed to her injuries somewhere in Singapore
there was something that died in every Indian woman. More than anything else it
was the hope, hoping for things to change, hoping to feel safe in her own
country and hoping to not be blamed for a crime committed on her.
That
girl might have died physically yesterday but actually we had killed her long
back already. We killed her when we blamed her for all that she went through.
Though if I ask who is to be blamed for this, there are a lot of voices which
will say the system and law and order. But there are also many voices which
said it’s her fault to be out at this time. Or rather should I say it’s her
fault she was born a woman in our country. I am shocked at the thoughts of the
society where they surprisingly blame a woman for any untoward incident
happening with her.
When I
was abused as a child – I was blamed for it.
When
as a teenager some random youth molested me on the road – I was blamed for it.
I was
asked to dress more decently, pretend to be coy and not behave in a manner
which was attracting. I cried a lot at that time, thinking I am unfortunate to
have been born in a conservative society and I thought things would change once
I grow up. But sadly things still remain the same. Today when I face indecent
proposals at work place; I am blamed for it. In the Bijal case of 2003, she was
blamed and in the Park Street case also she was blamed. Nothing has changed.
Neither has the culprit, nor the treatment being vetted out in such cases. Be
it acid attacks, molestation, eve teasing or rape. The victim is the culprit.
That is the diktat.
We
women seem to have some magical ability to create trouble around us every time!
We attract problems like a magnet. I wonder if the people who blame us even
would have said the same things had it been someone from their own closed
family or friends. Whom are they trying to fool when we say we have progressed
a lot as country and as a society and that they believe in equality between men
and women? Where is the equality when it comes to safety on roads for us? Why
is that if we dress up in a particular manner it is construed as an open
invitation? Why that is some people have the right to be the moral police and
hand us a list of do’s and don’ts while actually they are the very people who
create the problems in the first place. Every time we have asked such questions
we have been handed over a bunch of lies wrapped up in one line which makes us
the culprit.
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The only
thing that I would like to say is –
Guilty
my lord! It’s my fault that I am born a girl and hence all this is happening
with me! After being through so many endless blames I want to add one more to
the this list by committing female foeticide. For I cannot let another Me be
born and undergo all these things. I would rather gift her death before she is
born rather than giving her a new death every day.